Utah, from the perspective of an Oregonian

We made it to Utah on Monday. We were welcomed with rain and thunderstorms, which Nate was totally excited about because he has been craving a good thunderstorm for years. It was a looong and emotional day. I cried when we got to our new apartment because it made everything real and the entire day was a "what the *bleep* are we doing here" moment. Fortunately, my cousin's wife invited me and the kids over for the afternoon while Nate was transferring everything from the ABF trailer to a U-haul truck and made us a yummy dinner. I even managed to get there with the GPS on my phone dropping most of the time. The kids were psychotic monsters the majority of the day, and there was a lots of yelling, crying, and a little swearing, (all of them mostly from me).  It was my absolute worst day as a mother, and I felt terrible for how horrible I was being to my children. It didn't help that everytime the GPS actually did work and would tell me where to go, one of the kids would decide to scream, and on the way back, I got horribly lost and ended up at the airport, and Nate's phone died, so I couldn't actually get a hold of him or have any idea where he was. Also, the family dog that my parents got when I was 16 years old had a massive stroke and was put down within hours of us arriving here. Madelynn has been talking all week about how she misses Jack.

So now that the shock of being here is starting to wear off slightly, here are my impressions/observations of our new home:

1. It is not green. Well, considering that we're in the high desert, this is no surprise. But it's a difficult adjustment for me, because I love my trees. This isn't true for every area here; in Salt Lake itself, there are quite a few mature trees. But it's not part of the natural landscape, they were all planted. The further out you get, the more "native" the landscape gets. Compared to Eugene, it's rather desolate here. And we're in West Jordan, close to the Oquirrh mountains, so it is especially desolate out here. Even more so because we are unfortunately close to the Kennecott mine, where they have essentially raped the mountains and it looks like this:
 



2. The water is terrible. I suspect much of this is because we are rather close to the mine which has undoubtedly contaminated the drinking water. Which apparently doesn't seem to bother a lot of people here, since Daybreak (which was developed by Kennecott) is supposed to the THE place to buy a house. Even though residents have to sign a disclaimer. And I don't care if it's considered "safe" to drink. People are constantly told that their water is safe to drink after fracking. Even though they can light it on fire 

3. The Wasatch mountains are breathtaking! It's wonderful to see the big, towering mountains every day. Unfortunately, the area seems to be perpetually in a haze, whether from pollution or if it's on fire like Oregon is every summer, I am not sure, but it's still an amazing view:
 

4. Gas is cheaper. And you can pump it yourself and don't have to wait forever for someone else to do it for you. Win. Maybe not so much in the winter, but for now, it's a win. Groceries also seem a wee bit cheaper as well, though the quality of produce isn't as great.

5. Dry heat beats humidity. This entire week, it has been absolutely lovely here weather-wise. And yes, that include the random torrential downpours, because it reminds me of home. And on the warm, sunny days we've had, I haven't felt overly hot once. It has yet to get into the triple digits since we've been here, but it has sure made the transition easier. When we were here in June checking things out, it was in the 90s every day, and it still felt tolerable. And we have central air conditioning, as does pretty much every other place here, so when it does get uncomfortable, we can hide in our cool cave. We will probably be spending half the summers in Oregon anyway. So, if you want to come visit us in the next few summers (please do! we should be in a much bigger place by next spring!) plan your trip between mid-July through August. That's when Nate has to be back to coach.

6. Zoning appears to be non-existent. Once upon a time, the many cities in the Salt Lake Valley used to be completely separate entitites with farms and undeveloped land between them all. But urban sprawl has taken over, and the cities all run into each other north to south and east to west. I frequently have no idea which city I am in. And they weren't necessarily planned very well. I saw a few acres of farm right across the street from a massive shopping center. And you might see an apartment complex right next to a tire store. And then a school. Kind of like someone just took a city, threw it all together in a bag and shook it up, then dumped it out. Or a giant took a big crap and said, look, a city! Also, I have yet to be anywhere here besides Salt Lake that has a true downtown. Please tell me where these places are. A strip mall doesn't count.

7. Everything is generic, chain businesses. If you want quality local, you have to go into Salt Lake downtown and around Sugar House, where we did find a yummy Greek place. Now, many of these chain businesses are a good step-up from your typical Wendy's, McDonalds, and Wal-Marts, so this is a plus. I won't complain about having In-N-Out Burger, Culver's, Ikea, Cafe Rio, Five Guys, Famous Dave's and the likes nearby. But it all kind of looks the same. Well, okay, nothing looks like Ikea. And the food itself at these places is yummy, however, it would be nice to have more quirkiness around. You know, like an old victorian house converted into a  dessert place with tables dedicated to classical composers, bad service, live pianists and a scuba diver suit in the bathroom. Or an anarchist cafe. (Everytime I take one of those quizzes on facebook, it tells me I belong in Portland. But my checking account doesn't.)  The cost of living here is much more pleasing to our bank account.

8. Being close to Temple Square is wonderful! Temple square is like the Mormon version of the Vatican. We took the kids there on Friday, and it was really emotional for me. The last time I was there, I was there with my parents and sibling nearly 10 years ago. Or maybe it was even longer than that. We saw a lot of people coming out from the temple who had just gotten married, and I teared up remembering our own wedding 7 years ago in Portland, where many of our family members were present who have since died. I missed my Dad horribly while walking around, as the last time I was there, he was with me. But it was still beautiful and peaceful. I love that we can go there whenever we feel like it.



9. No place can beat Utah for ice cream. I vaguely remembering my parents commenting once we moved from Utah (Logan), to Iowa City about how the ice cream selection was lacking. Not so here! It's ice cream heaven- entire aisles dedicated to nothing but ice cream and other frozen treats! And it's all relatively cheap. I am planning on keeping a steady supply of Creamies in my freezer at all times. Oh yeah, and you can buy the massive cans of Stephen's hot chocolate here, and in lots of different flavors, because it's made in Farmington! Okay, this is exciting for me, because when I was younger, we used to sell it every year for school fundraisers before you could buy it in the store and we REALLY liked it.

So right now, it's a bit of a mixed bag for us. I REALLY want to fall in love with living here, because moving is a massive headache. The few people we have met so far have all been extremely nice. Nate is working with some really cool people. I have yet to meet anyone I will be working with yet, nor do I know my school assignment, which I will hopefully have sometime this week, because I need to register my kids for school! The kids love our new place, and it is really nice not constantly worrying about whether or not Ian will fall down the wooden stairs. And I kind of like having nice, thick carpet, because you can roll around on the floor much more comfortably. I look forward to discovering more about this area and finding the beautiful places in the many canyons to get my nature fix. And also for my morning sickness to go away.

And we will be moving to....................

So my throat has been hurting a lot the past few days. Especially the left side. And I've had a fever off and on. I took a few hours off of work today to make sure I didn't have strep or some other nasty infection and found out...... nothing. At least they took the throat culture, but I don't have the results yet. I am going to assume I don't have strep because I can still swallow without feeling like I am swallowing razor blades and my uvula isn't touching the back of my tongue and I'm not lying on the bathroom floor in Hawaii trying to cool off from a raging fever. Not that I know any Nate's that have experienced that......
Speaking of Nate, here is a picture of a Unicorn:















I would like to refer you to specific verses in the Bible that talk about Unicorns:

• Numbers 23:22    “God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.”

• Numbers 24:8     “God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows.”

• Job 39:9   “Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib?”

• Job 39:10    “Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?”

• Psalms 29:6     “He maketh them also to skip like a calf; Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn.”

• Psalms 92:10    “But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.”

• Deuteronomy 33:17    “His glory is like the firstling of his bullock, and his horns are like the horns of unicorns: with them he shall push the people together to the ends of the earth: and they are the ten thousands of Ephraim, and they are the thousands of Manasseh.”

• Psalms 22:21    “Save me from the lion’s mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns.”

• Isaiah 34:7     “And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.”

Note that this is the King James version, many of the modern translations do not mention Unicorns. I totally ripped this off another website.

Oh yes, I almost forgot- the reason that you clicked on this blog link was to find out WHERE we were going- well, Utah people, rejoice (or run screaming, depending on how you feel about us)- we will be moving to Salt Lake City in August. Nate and I have both accepted positions with the Granite School District. I will be a Speech Pathologist with the Preschool program (not sure of my assignment yet, that may depend where we end up moving), and Nate will be teaching Spanish and English at Cyprus High in Magna. The Granite School District has really funny boundaries- it stretches all the way from the East side of the Valley over by Holladay and South Salt Lake, and goes approximately 40 blocks north to south, and about 20 miles east to Magna on the east side of the Valley. So we will be down at the end of June to find a place to live, and then pack up and move mid-August. It is a huge relief to know where we will be in a few months and Nate has a job! He is so excited. He was a little worried that he would be at a disadvantage because he had to interview over the phone, but I guess they really liked him. So, any of you people from the area, please give us any recommendations you have for.... anything. Neighborhoods that are awesome (remember that we both work in education so we are not rich.....) neighborhoods that are stabby and should be avoided or neighborhoods where people are insane and try to outdo each other, things to do, places to go out to eat, things that grow well in a garden there, realtors and mortgage companies (eventually), whatever. It's been a long time since we've been to Salt Lake, and I am sure it is a whole lot different than what I remember. We now know where we will be going on summer vacation every single year........ massively long trips back to Oregon...
This certainly isn't what we were expecting a few months ago, but we are excited to start a new adventure!

A year in review.... and then some.

I have not written a single post in over a year. The last one was in February of 2013. In January I was determined to do a nice post with photos about our trip to Hawaii, and that obviously didn't happen. I've just been stalking and reading everyone else's blogs instead. Crazy stuff has happened this past year, but that's nothing new. In fact, the entire time Nate and I have been married has involved lots of insane and terrible and wonderful things happening, and the only thing that hasn't been crazy has been our marriage, and for that I am grateful.
I don't remember much of what happened last summer, other than it was a very nice, pleasant summer with lots of time spent working in the garden, going to the coast, and watching the kids splash in the inflatable pools. We weren't traveling all over the place like we had been the year before.
At the end of last August, Nate's mother suddenly passed away. She had been paralyzed from the chest down for the past year and a half after her spinal stroke, but other than that had been in good health. At the end of August, she suddenly had a massive brain hemmhorage, and died a day later. It was my first day back at work, and Nate's first day of his student teaching practicum when we found out. He was able to rush down to Medford to see her one last time, even though she was mostly brain dead by then, but I think she knew he was there.
I have been working 4 days a week this year, up from the 3 days last week, and it has been really hard. I supervised 2 graduate students this year, and I honestly would not have been able to get through this year without them. I think I would have thrown a chair out of my office by now and run out screaming long ago had it not been for them. But they are now gone, and I am on my own for the rest of the year- just 1 1/2 months to go- I can do it!!!!!!!! But it is certainly not easy, I feel like I am doing two full-time jobs right now. In fact, I probably am. This entire year, I have felt like I needed a change- I just can't continue providing speech therapy for 25+ kids per day, plus doing evaluations, plus all of the IEP and eligibility paperwork and progress notes that go along with the job, plus 80+ IEP/eligibility meetings per years, plus specialist team meetings, plus the spring preschool evaluations and KG transition meetings, plus the new evaluation system required by the state of Oregon this year where I have to collect mounds of data to track growth.....and doing this part-time. It's completely absurd. I have been doing this for nine years, and this has by far been the most insane year at work.
The whole family went to Hawaii over Christmas, and it was amazing! The details of that I will save for another post, but here is a picture of Nate on Diamond Head, where we scattered some of his mom's ashes:

My dad has now been gone for over 2 1/2 years. I can't believe it has already been that long! Last July marked 10 years since Nate lost his dad.
We have been living in the house my parents lived in for the last 10 years of my dad's life for 2 years now. It was really strange when we first moved in- a lot things reminded me of my dad, and I started having a lot of panic attacks and would get really upset. I had been trying so hard to hold it together since I had Ian, and moving in was the final piece that caused me to break down. I started seeing a counselor who helped me work through some of those issues, and I eventually stopped picturing my dad lying in bed dying or having dreams about him dying over and over again. Moving the furniture around helped, as my mom left a few of the furniture pieces at the house, and our bedrroom was set up exactly the same way that my parents' room was while my dad was sick. Nate was so sweet and rearranged the entire house for me. I have still let myself indulge on a regular basis of reliving memories of my dad sitting in the recliner that I am now sitting in while reading to Madelynn. I often stare out into the backyard and imagine him sitting on the porch in the evening with a tall glass of water just enjoying being outside. I sometimes look out towards the back office and think that if I will look through the window and see him sitting at his computer working on a writing project. But these indulgences can't go on forever, and it is likely that we will be leaving soon.
Nate graduates with his M.Ed in one week. Due to Oregon TSPC being ridiculous and requiring an idiotic test that even native Spanish speakers can't pass in order to get your Spanish endorsement, we are looking at leaving Oregon, which makes me sad, but I'm also up for a new adventure. I have a job offer in Salt Lake, and if Nate also receives a job offer from the same district, then it looks like that's where we may be headed. They seem extremely interested in him, so now it's just waiting. Hopefully we will know soon, because it is very anxiety-inducing not knowing where you will be living come August. We weren't originally even considering Utah, especially because Utah is notorious for having crappy pay for teachers, but with the legislature adding $$$ to teachers salaries recently, it is comparable to the district I am currently in. And I never intended on moving back to Utah after we were essentially driven out of Logan.... yeah, ask my mom- some not so fun memories. But, we went to the educator job fair in Portland a few weeks ago (ironically just days after Nate was put in as 2nd counselor in the bishopric in our ward), and suddenly Salt Lake just seemed.... right. It's not what I would have chosen (I would have chosen Spain.....) but I'm okay with it, because I think it's more important that we are where we are supposed to be, rather than where we want to be. We don't have to go- we could always stay here next year, and Nate could sub (because let's face it, we live in Eugene- there are no teaching jobs for Nate here. There's rumors of more lay-offs happening again this year in the district we live in) But honestly, the idea of staying here and having a repeat of this year happen next year sounds like complete torture to me, so I think I'm good to go.
Here is a picture of Madelynn and Ian eating peanut butter sandwiches in the backyard:

I am not a runner

I decided to go for a run today. To see if I was still as bad at running as I was ten years ago. And guess what, I am. I still hate running. I wish I loved running, so this year my goal is to not hate it so much. In a moment of insanity, I signed up for the Dirty Dash in June, figuring 6 months  will be plenty of time to get myself up to being able to run 4 miles. And.... I couldn't even run around the entire block today without stopping to walk a couple of times. Now, I ran MOST of the way, and wanted to pass out when I got to the front door. I have a lot of work to do. I thought, hey, running around the block will give me an idea of what I need to work on. I need to work on:
1. breathing
2. continuing to breathe while running.
3. not stopping while I run
4. lots and lots and lots of cardio
5. weight training so my legs don't collapse
6. carrying kleenex with me because running makes my nose run as well...

I've never been a regular exerciser, either, because I get bored. I prefer doing things that also happen to be exercise, like hiking, chasing my one year old down the halls at church on Sundays, playing Just Dance on the Wii and this year at work, I scheduled my students so I would have to do LOTS of walking up and down the halls and stairs at school to work with them.  I used to get up Saturday mornings with my Dad and hike 5-10 miles in Logan Canyon in the summer. And when we moved here, my dad and I went on as many hikes as we could. I can hike and hike and hike, but I can't RUN. I probably can't really hike right now, either, as I'm clearly out of shape. It's hard to get motivated to pack up and go into a mountain when you know you have to carry a human wearing a diaper on your back and they could vomit or poop on you at any minute, and may start screaming hysterically when you're 5 miles away from the car.
Now that I'm only 2 months from being 30, my body isn't quite as fabulous as it used to be. I've never really had to be concerned about my weight, but those days are eventually going to come to an end, sooner rather than later, and having children does a number on your bod, although I actually prefer my curves I've developed as a result to how skinny I was when I got married. Except for the stretched out skin hanging from my belly, which will likely never go away, but I'm okay with that, because it tucks nicely into my jeans.... okay, TMI.
I'm lucky to live in Oregon, where you can pretty much run around outside year round, as long as you don't mind rain. Except I don't like running. I might be speed-walking the dirty dash.

8 months later...

I saw that it has been 8 months since my last post. I really only started this post as a way to share our adventure in Mexico back in summer of 2010, but then started using this as a sort of journal instead. I don't even know where my other journal is right now... probably in the nightstand somewhere. I was too sad to blog for a while, and I just didn't know what to write. Ian was born August 17, 2011 after a whopping 10 minutes of pushing (though I did have to be induced. Okay, I insisted on being induced. The clock was ticking) He was 4 days past his due date, but I wasn't willing to wait any longer, and glad I went for the induction, because my Dad passed away two days after he was born. He did get to meet Ian, though, and that was a huge blessing. Ian weighed 8 lb, 9 oz, and was 21 inches long, which were my Dad's exact measurements when he was born as well. So Ian was the final even that Dad was waiting for.
Now Ian is 7 1/2 months old, crawling, pulling himself up, drooling, shrieking, and babbling everywhere and getting into everything. (Today Nate found him in the playroom eating paper.) Madelynn adores her baby brother, but isn't too excited about him getting into things. And he likes to pull her hair. And dump her chocolate milk all over the floor.
Having two kids is great, even though it can get frustrating when they decide to take turns being feisty. And, after nearly a year of potty training, Madelynn finally became 100% potty trained a couple months before her third birthday, and has only had a couple accidents since then. And she has been binky free for a whopping 2 weeks. Oh my goodness.... we let the binky thing go on way too long. I didn't have the energy or care to do it right after Ian was born, but as of April 1, we decided enough was enough- it was becoming a psychotic addiction, and now she's fine without it. With the binky gone, naps seem to have gone, too, but I consider that a worthwhile sacrifice. We also bribed her with a new leotard and dance class to help ease the transition, and I guess now I have to take her leotard shopping. Where do you buy leotards? Or as she calls it "lenatard."
Nate was accepted to Northwest Christian University's M.Ed + teaching licensure program, and will begin that at the end of August. He is looking forward to being at a smaller school and having more individualized attention. Plus, the fact that he only has to go to school on Thursday evenings is a plus as well. He's been applying for jobs since getting fed up with his previous job at the credit union and quitting about a month ago, but there's not a whole lot available right now, so I will most likely be working this summer as well. Unless he can find an amazing summer job.... I've been talking to travel therapy companies about doing a summer placement somewhere- either local or Bend, Boise, San Diego, or possibly Portland. He's off on a man-date tonight with my bros. to watch Wrath of the Titans. I do have to say, it is great having him home when I get home from work. And, since I only work 3 days a week, we get to do a lot of things together as a family. We just spent 4 days up in Portland with his family and visiting his mom in the hospital. His mother had severe pancreatitis back in February cause by gallstones, and that also caused her to have a spinal stroke. She's now paralyzed from the chest down and is up in Portland in the hospital doing intense physical and occupational therapy.
We moved into my parents' old house about a month ago, as my mom bought a new house. It's so nice having all the extra space, extra bedrooms and a second bathroom, as well as a big yard. It's been a bit difficult for me, though, as it also has brought up some painful memories as well, but I find that it gets easier as we get things unpacked and make it look more like our own home and less like it was before. Soon we will have to start putting the baby gate up as Ian gets more mobile and attempts to maneuver the stairs.

Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me.

I should add some more pictures to my blog posts. But it's more complicated now because it's pretty impossible for me to reach the USB ports to upload that are now located at the back of the computer after getting a new motherboard and graphics card and I don't know what else... anyway, my belly is too humongous for me to reach back there. I have some amazingly adorable new photos of Madelynn that will have to wait until I'm a bit less round for posting.

So I really can't sleep right now because it's too uncomfortable and I also can't get this one song from Pete's dragon out of my head. It's been stuck in there since yesterday- it's the first one where Pete's hiding in a tree and the Gogans are out looking for him and singing. My personal favorite line from it is "Roast him gently so the flames don't hurt." And I cannot get it out of my head. It's really annoying. And then I have to pee every 15 minutes and it hurts to move and I get severe pain shooting through my legs when I walk. I think baby's head is pressing on my sciatic nerve. I'm in my 39th week and trying to remember what my feet look like. This pregnancy has been a lot easier than with Madelynn- I didn't get nearly as sick this time around, but boy it sure hurts a heck of a lot more. Which means when I go into labor that it will either be no big deal because I've been having all sorts of pain and discomfort for the past while that I'll be used to it or I will be so worn down from it that I'll just pass out. I actually had a totally pain free labor and delivery with Madelynn, thanks to two months solid of contractions and being used to them and an amazing epidural before having my water broken, but I'm not so sure I can count on that this time. I'm pretty sure the only people who are even reading this blog are women, so I feel I can share. I sometimes forget that not everyone knows about all the little things that go along with having a baby, like pregnancy terms, as I was reminded of when my sister's boyfriend asked me what a contraction actually was the other day. And then it makes me wonder if when I talk preggo-lingo in front of my brothers if they actually have any idea of what I am talking about.

I was planning on starting a blog this summer specifically for SLPs where I could post therapy ideas and worksheets and materials recommendations, but so far it has only resulted in a lunch discussion with one of my brothers who will help me set it up and host it for me. Not really in a very creative/productive place right now. My days right now consist of staying in bed as late as possible until it either hurts to much or until Madelynn wakes up and comes in to greet me, then sitting in the living room half out of it while Madelynn eats her breakfast and watches as many shows as I can get her to watch before she gets bored and wants to go do something (She's not one to sit in front of the tv for hours) and then I'll either have her take a bath with me or sneak a shower in while she's watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and eating cheerios, and then we head over to my parents for a few hours while she follows Grandma around or has tea parties with Grandpa who's confined to bed now, while I will either sit up with my Dad, lie on the couch and groan everytime I move, or try to be useful and do something to help out around the house (although the latter is becoming much less frequent.) Then once she starts getting tired, I take her home and we take a 2+ hour nap, and by the time we wake up, it's getting close to dinner time and I'll either make dinner, or if I hurt too bad, Nate will come home from work and make dinner. Amazingly, somehow our house has managed to stay pretty clean and organized. I find that if you just don't let it get too bad in the first place, it's not that difficult to put things away quickly and just wiping down a counter here or sweeping up really quickly on a regular basis is not very time-consuming or overwhelming. And it helps when both spouses are helping to keep things presentable. Nate's work schedule has been fabulous, too, because he often will only work 2-3 days in a row, then have 1-2 days in a row off, so that helps break things up. We have a lot more fun when he's got the day off. It's a lot easier to go fun places, like having picnics in the park or taking Madelynn other fun places because I don't have to be the one responsible for picking her up or chasing her around constantly and can relax a lot more.

I am starting to get really nervous about this baby being born. It is down to days now before my due date, and it's starting to hit me that we are about to have another child and I will be holding him soon, but the timing of things is kind of scary. The longer it takes him to get here, the more my Dad deteriorates. My dad is already showing the signs that his time here is coming to a close, with the discoloration of the skin and the extremities and the changing of skin texture, but for some reason, his body just keeps working, but it can't last much longer. I desperately want my Dad to be able to see his grandson in the flesh, but I don't want him to be so far gone that he doesn't recognize what is going on, and I fear we are starting to get close to that point. I wonder if he does make it until Ian is born if he will last long enough for us to get out of the hospital and bring him over for him to see him, or if he won't even make it until then, or if Ian's birth will ultimately be that last thing that is keeping him here and then he will let go. Everything just seems so messed up.

Finally a date!

Nate and I were finally able to go on a date last night, thanks to a fabulous birthday present (for Nate) from my sister, Joanna. I think our last date was in March for our anniversary. And this date was amazing- and FREE!!!! I think the best present you can give parents is a date night. Joanna babysat Madelynn while we we went out, and had some of her friends come over to our place as well, which was great, because Madelynn pretty much thought she was having a party and that everyone had come over just to hang out with her. We had dinner at Chili's paid for (another gift from Joanna) and free tickets to Harry Potter in IMAX 3D (it helps having a sister who works at the movie theatre and can get free tickets.) Oh yes, and then to top it off, we also got free frozen yogurt, because on of my cousins happens to work at the new frozen yogurt place next to the theatre and hooked us up. So yeah, awesome night and completely FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am completely worn out today, though, because doing anything when you are 9 months pregnant wears you out. Taking a shower makes me tired.

Speaking of being pregnant, little Ian has been very cooperative and I am now free of activity restrictions (other than the "duh" ones, like roller coasters and cliff diving). As of yesterday, I am 75% effaced but haven't started dilating yet. I want this baby out now, even though I still have another 3 1/2 weeks to go before my due date. Now it's a race to get this baby here so my Dad can see him. His goal is to make it long enough to see the baby, but I get nervous that time will run out. He's pretty much confined to bed now, and only gets up briefly to use the bathroom with the help of my mom. (Trying to do it on his own tends to result in him falling and hitting his head). He sleeps most of the time now, too. It's a strange thing both looking forward to the future with a new baby and also completely dreading it as well, because I know what else it means.