I should add some more pictures to my blog posts. But it's more complicated now because it's pretty impossible for me to reach the USB ports to upload that are now located at the back of the computer after getting a new motherboard and graphics card and I don't know what else... anyway, my belly is too humongous for me to reach back there. I have some amazingly adorable new photos of Madelynn that will have to wait until I'm a bit less round for posting.
So I really can't sleep right now because it's too uncomfortable and I also can't get this one song from Pete's dragon out of my head. It's been stuck in there since yesterday- it's the first one where Pete's hiding in a tree and the Gogans are out looking for him and singing. My personal favorite line from it is "Roast him gently so the flames don't hurt." And I cannot get it out of my head. It's really annoying. And then I have to pee every 15 minutes and it hurts to move and I get severe pain shooting through my legs when I walk. I think baby's head is pressing on my sciatic nerve. I'm in my 39th week and trying to remember what my feet look like. This pregnancy has been a lot easier than with Madelynn- I didn't get nearly as sick this time around, but boy it sure hurts a heck of a lot more. Which means when I go into labor that it will either be no big deal because I've been having all sorts of pain and discomfort for the past while that I'll be used to it or I will be so worn down from it that I'll just pass out. I actually had a totally pain free labor and delivery with Madelynn, thanks to two months solid of contractions and being used to them and an amazing epidural before having my water broken, but I'm not so sure I can count on that this time. I'm pretty sure the only people who are even reading this blog are women, so I feel I can share. I sometimes forget that not everyone knows about all the little things that go along with having a baby, like pregnancy terms, as I was reminded of when my sister's boyfriend asked me what a contraction actually was the other day. And then it makes me wonder if when I talk preggo-lingo in front of my brothers if they actually have any idea of what I am talking about.
I was planning on starting a blog this summer specifically for SLPs where I could post therapy ideas and worksheets and materials recommendations, but so far it has only resulted in a lunch discussion with one of my brothers who will help me set it up and host it for me. Not really in a very creative/productive place right now. My days right now consist of staying in bed as late as possible until it either hurts to much or until Madelynn wakes up and comes in to greet me, then sitting in the living room half out of it while Madelynn eats her breakfast and watches as many shows as I can get her to watch before she gets bored and wants to go do something (She's not one to sit in front of the tv for hours) and then I'll either have her take a bath with me or sneak a shower in while she's watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and eating cheerios, and then we head over to my parents for a few hours while she follows Grandma around or has tea parties with Grandpa who's confined to bed now, while I will either sit up with my Dad, lie on the couch and groan everytime I move, or try to be useful and do something to help out around the house (although the latter is becoming much less frequent.) Then once she starts getting tired, I take her home and we take a 2+ hour nap, and by the time we wake up, it's getting close to dinner time and I'll either make dinner, or if I hurt too bad, Nate will come home from work and make dinner. Amazingly, somehow our house has managed to stay pretty clean and organized. I find that if you just don't let it get too bad in the first place, it's not that difficult to put things away quickly and just wiping down a counter here or sweeping up really quickly on a regular basis is not very time-consuming or overwhelming. And it helps when both spouses are helping to keep things presentable. Nate's work schedule has been fabulous, too, because he often will only work 2-3 days in a row, then have 1-2 days in a row off, so that helps break things up. We have a lot more fun when he's got the day off. It's a lot easier to go fun places, like having picnics in the park or taking Madelynn other fun places because I don't have to be the one responsible for picking her up or chasing her around constantly and can relax a lot more.
I am starting to get really nervous about this baby being born. It is down to days now before my due date, and it's starting to hit me that we are about to have another child and I will be holding him soon, but the timing of things is kind of scary. The longer it takes him to get here, the more my Dad deteriorates. My dad is already showing the signs that his time here is coming to a close, with the discoloration of the skin and the extremities and the changing of skin texture, but for some reason, his body just keeps working, but it can't last much longer. I desperately want my Dad to be able to see his grandson in the flesh, but I don't want him to be so far gone that he doesn't recognize what is going on, and I fear we are starting to get close to that point. I wonder if he does make it until Ian is born if he will last long enough for us to get out of the hospital and bring him over for him to see him, or if he won't even make it until then, or if Ian's birth will ultimately be that last thing that is keeping him here and then he will let go. Everything just seems so messed up.
