A year in review.... and then some.

I have not written a single post in over a year. The last one was in February of 2013. In January I was determined to do a nice post with photos about our trip to Hawaii, and that obviously didn't happen. I've just been stalking and reading everyone else's blogs instead. Crazy stuff has happened this past year, but that's nothing new. In fact, the entire time Nate and I have been married has involved lots of insane and terrible and wonderful things happening, and the only thing that hasn't been crazy has been our marriage, and for that I am grateful.
I don't remember much of what happened last summer, other than it was a very nice, pleasant summer with lots of time spent working in the garden, going to the coast, and watching the kids splash in the inflatable pools. We weren't traveling all over the place like we had been the year before.
At the end of last August, Nate's mother suddenly passed away. She had been paralyzed from the chest down for the past year and a half after her spinal stroke, but other than that had been in good health. At the end of August, she suddenly had a massive brain hemmhorage, and died a day later. It was my first day back at work, and Nate's first day of his student teaching practicum when we found out. He was able to rush down to Medford to see her one last time, even though she was mostly brain dead by then, but I think she knew he was there.
I have been working 4 days a week this year, up from the 3 days last week, and it has been really hard. I supervised 2 graduate students this year, and I honestly would not have been able to get through this year without them. I think I would have thrown a chair out of my office by now and run out screaming long ago had it not been for them. But they are now gone, and I am on my own for the rest of the year- just 1 1/2 months to go- I can do it!!!!!!!! But it is certainly not easy, I feel like I am doing two full-time jobs right now. In fact, I probably am. This entire year, I have felt like I needed a change- I just can't continue providing speech therapy for 25+ kids per day, plus doing evaluations, plus all of the IEP and eligibility paperwork and progress notes that go along with the job, plus 80+ IEP/eligibility meetings per years, plus specialist team meetings, plus the spring preschool evaluations and KG transition meetings, plus the new evaluation system required by the state of Oregon this year where I have to collect mounds of data to track growth.....and doing this part-time. It's completely absurd. I have been doing this for nine years, and this has by far been the most insane year at work.
The whole family went to Hawaii over Christmas, and it was amazing! The details of that I will save for another post, but here is a picture of Nate on Diamond Head, where we scattered some of his mom's ashes:

My dad has now been gone for over 2 1/2 years. I can't believe it has already been that long! Last July marked 10 years since Nate lost his dad.
We have been living in the house my parents lived in for the last 10 years of my dad's life for 2 years now. It was really strange when we first moved in- a lot things reminded me of my dad, and I started having a lot of panic attacks and would get really upset. I had been trying so hard to hold it together since I had Ian, and moving in was the final piece that caused me to break down. I started seeing a counselor who helped me work through some of those issues, and I eventually stopped picturing my dad lying in bed dying or having dreams about him dying over and over again. Moving the furniture around helped, as my mom left a few of the furniture pieces at the house, and our bedrroom was set up exactly the same way that my parents' room was while my dad was sick. Nate was so sweet and rearranged the entire house for me. I have still let myself indulge on a regular basis of reliving memories of my dad sitting in the recliner that I am now sitting in while reading to Madelynn. I often stare out into the backyard and imagine him sitting on the porch in the evening with a tall glass of water just enjoying being outside. I sometimes look out towards the back office and think that if I will look through the window and see him sitting at his computer working on a writing project. But these indulgences can't go on forever, and it is likely that we will be leaving soon.
Nate graduates with his M.Ed in one week. Due to Oregon TSPC being ridiculous and requiring an idiotic test that even native Spanish speakers can't pass in order to get your Spanish endorsement, we are looking at leaving Oregon, which makes me sad, but I'm also up for a new adventure. I have a job offer in Salt Lake, and if Nate also receives a job offer from the same district, then it looks like that's where we may be headed. They seem extremely interested in him, so now it's just waiting. Hopefully we will know soon, because it is very anxiety-inducing not knowing where you will be living come August. We weren't originally even considering Utah, especially because Utah is notorious for having crappy pay for teachers, but with the legislature adding $$$ to teachers salaries recently, it is comparable to the district I am currently in. And I never intended on moving back to Utah after we were essentially driven out of Logan.... yeah, ask my mom- some not so fun memories. But, we went to the educator job fair in Portland a few weeks ago (ironically just days after Nate was put in as 2nd counselor in the bishopric in our ward), and suddenly Salt Lake just seemed.... right. It's not what I would have chosen (I would have chosen Spain.....) but I'm okay with it, because I think it's more important that we are where we are supposed to be, rather than where we want to be. We don't have to go- we could always stay here next year, and Nate could sub (because let's face it, we live in Eugene- there are no teaching jobs for Nate here. There's rumors of more lay-offs happening again this year in the district we live in) But honestly, the idea of staying here and having a repeat of this year happen next year sounds like complete torture to me, so I think I'm good to go.
Here is a picture of Madelynn and Ian eating peanut butter sandwiches in the backyard: